Whatever you do, don't love me

Please tell me you love me and be nice to me. Tell me that you care, and that you'll look after me. Please tell me that I couldn't help it and it wasn't my fault; please take responsibility for me. Shield me, pamper me, and say that we're in love. Make me the centre of your world, hang on my words and worship the ground on which I walk.  Give me the good life, a little bit of what I like, and why not just a bit more? Say that it's okay for me to have it all now and not have to wait.

Please offer me everything and tell me I'm special - simply at the cost of my soul.

But, whatever you do, don't actually love me. Don't confront me with my many failings, however gently. Don't ask me to take responsibility for my actions, or let me go through struggles or difficult times in order that I grow up.  Don't ask me to commit or expect anything in return. Don't tell me that I've hurt you, or let me know how costly love is. Don't tell me I'm loved and precious when this says nothing about me, but all about you.

Don't ask that I give myself entirely - or I might have peace, and joy, and life.

Love is a choice.

---

I am reminded of a poem which is a favourite:

If Love

If Love should count you worthy and should deign
One day to seek your door and be your guest,
Pause! ere you draw your bolt and bid Him rest
If in your old content you would remain,
For not alone He enters, in His train
Are Angels of the mists, the lonely quest,
Dreams of the unfulfilled and unpossessed,
And sorrow and life’s immemorial pain.
He wakes desires you never may forget,
He shows you stars you never saw before,
He makes you share with him for evermore
The burden of the world’s divine regret.

How wise you were to open not and yet,
How poor if you should turn Him from your door.

by SR Lysaght